Coming Home: Becoming a devoted dad is no joke for my husband
WATFORD CITY, N.D. -- My husband has been practicing his dad jokes. It's been a long rehearsal, I'll tell you. Six months of lame comebacks followed by a blank stare (by me) and a sort of ba-doom-chick, knee-slap, finger-gun-point routine (by him...
WATFORD CITY, N.D. -- My husband has been practicing his dad jokes.
It's been a long rehearsal, I'll tell you. Six months of lame comebacks followed by a blank stare (by me) and a sort of ba-doom-chick, knee-slap, finger-gun-point routine (by him) before he officially declares it a "dad joke" and laughs his way out of the room.
Some men agonize over the best car seat/stroller/baby monitor in the world with countless hours of Internet research, testimonials and calls to their dad friends.
Literally the first thing he said when he saw the image of our little baby floating around in his (or her) big ultrasound debut was, "Huh, look there, I think I see a mustache."
It was such a sweet moment.
And a reminder of how embarrassing he can be sometimes.
But I appreciate that about him, and I think this kid will, too. I know I appreciated that about my dad anyway, to know that a man charged with lifting the heavy things in the lives of his family still had the energy and heart to sing "Be Bop a Lula" and dance with his daughters in the kitchen, using laughter as an exclamation point at the end of a long day.
In our lives together, I've seen my husband take the same route. Lurking in his generally stoic nature will be a witty rebuttal that catches me off guard or an unexpected leap from behind a closed door so that he can relish me flailing and falling to my knees, half weeping/half laughing in terror.
It keeps things interesting.
Anyway, as we get ready for this new person to arrive, I've been obsessively pining over baby preparation material, because I figure if I can't be in control of my hormones, waistline, sleep pattern or endless heartburn, I can at least learn about the things I won't be able to control in the next phase.
And that's where I ran across a few articles about the dad -- how to help calm his nerves, prepare him, inform him, keep him involved and one of the top 25 things he should know before the kid gets here, which I read, of course, in case there was something in there that they planned on telling dads but were going to keep from me.
Needless to say, there was nothing in there about preparing for the arrival of your infant by keeping a logbook of lame jokes that will embarrass your entire family year after year, but judging by the short Rolodex my father-in-law repeats annually around the Thanksgiving table, I'm thinking the development of the skill is inherited.
It's instinct. Which made me wonder: In all the discussion about a mother's instincts as a couple prepares for their first addition, why does it seem like a father's instincts go unrecognized?
Now, I know there are good dads and bad dads out there, and the same goes with mothers, so lucky are those who have two devoted parents. And that devoted dad is who I'm talking about here. In my life, I've seen and have been influenced by plenty of examples of these types of men; the ones who take their kids along on cattle roundups, hunting excursions, trips to their favorite sporting event or just on a run to the hardware store.
Because in those excursions, there might be a chance to get some dad jokes in, yes, but there's also endless opportunities to teach, to show, to answer questions and help expose a kid to a skill or a fact he can put in his pocket so that he's better equipped to take on the world.
When my husband was asked what he was most looking forward to about becoming a dad, his response was, "To have a buddy I can show around this place."
That seems to be a theme. A dad's basic instinct. To teach. To prepare. To show.
Because dad was the original Google, after all. Which may make things a little tricky these days, you know, now that kids can fact-check.
But it also comes in handy when diversifying that pool of dad jokes, which apparently is the first step in the wonderful journey of fatherhood.
Jessie Veeder is a musician and writer living with her husband on a ranch near Watford City, N.D. Readers can reach her at email@example.com .