TOWNER, N.D. -- I merged a little farther down the information superhighway recently. But I've still got my hazard lights on to warn traffic about the high-tech redneck on the road.
When our cell phones had breathed the last of their useful lives, my wife and I headed to the big city to get a couple of new ones. Who'd have guessed they were having a big promotion at the time.
Produce sale
We'd been thinking about an upgrade and they had these BlackBerrys on sale for $50 a pint. I guess the berries were in season and they'd had a good crop.
These units were much more than a phone, the salesman informed us. You could text, e-mail, browse the Web, take photos, listen to music, play games and do 49 other things you never thought you needed to do on a telephone.
ADVERTISEMENT
And, our salesman added, he was at a meeting where the speaker said these little gems could save the owner an hour a day. I'm not sure where that hour comes from, but I think it has something to do with answering your e-mail when you shouldn't instead of when you're sitting safely at home at your desk.
The phones were cheap -- two for $50, after the mail-in rebate, of course. But there was one other detail, we'd have to upgrade our monthly cell phone plan. Another $40 a month for the two of us. The potential profit margin from another five calves per year, I figured. Hmmmm. . . .
We took the bait and got the phones. We "needed" them. I figured the communication and time savings could make our calves more valuable, allow us to run a bigger herd or, at the least, make it possible for me post my status and a photo on Facebook from remote ranch locations that could pull a phone signal.
Accessorize
The cost didn't stop with the phones and the plan, however. Before we left the store, we needed $75 worth of other stuff.
We got a couple of chargers for the car, one to have and one to look for. Since the $25 phone would cost $300 to replace, and given the rough treatment on the ranch, I spent the extra money to have my phone wrapped in rubber and plastic, waterproofed and synthetically rawhided. It didn't look so sleek anymore, but it was nearly bulletproof.
I'm still waiting to start saving an hour a day with the newfangled gadget. I can't get it synchronized with our computer, and I haven't scratched the surface of figuring out how to use all its applications. I can make a phone call with it, though. Sometimes it won't even get cut short for lack of a signal.
Right now, I call my BlackBerry my chokecherry, the sour prairie fruit with the big pit in the middle, not nearly as sweet or tasty as its blackberry cousin, but useful.
ADVERTISEMENT
I still may figure things out and move it up from a chokecherry to BlackBerry, but I'm not there yet.
It wouldn't be so bad if they had a cheaper monthly plan for us chokecherry users, but I won't hold my breath for that.
All this talk is making me hungry for some jam and toast. Maybe I can check my e-mail while the bread is toasting.
