Coming Home: Wishing for solid ground in an unfamiliar place
WATFORD CITY, N.D. - The dark blue clouds sparked with lightning on the horizon in front of us, and the deep rumble of the thunder seemed to shoot up from the ground below our horses' feet to settle and roar smack in the middle of my 10-year-old ...
WATFORD CITY, N.D. - The dark blue clouds sparked with lightning on the horizon in front of us, and the deep rumble of the thunder seemed to shoot up from the ground below our horses' feet to settle and roar smack in the middle of my 10-year-old heart.
It was one of those calm and sticky summer evenings, the perfect combination of humidity, heat and timing just right for brewing a storm out of thin air. And so there we were out chasing cattle, my little sister on her white pony, my dad and me, miles from the safety of the barnyard, staring up at the sky growing darker by the second.
It was my first lesson in remaining calm in an uncontrollable situation that escalated quickly, the types of situations that, out here, are generally always caused by the sky or an animal.
Because there's nothing nature does better than teach us lessons about our own human vulnerability.
Against an angry thousand-pound bull or a cloud full of hail stones, we are nothing but skin and bones, muscle and a built-in instinct to survive that we humans don't exercise very often.
But out here, the animals do.
"These horses know how to get home," Dad said to us, his silhouette darkening against a flashing horizon. "I know you can't see the ground, but they can feel it. Just let their heads go and they will get you home."
And there was our lesson in trust--in our dad, in our animal and in the inborn instinct that is survival.
Last night, the sky was brewing up storms across the state. The air was thick outside our house and the weatherman on TV predicted the unpredictable. There will be wind. There will be rain. There will be storms tonight.
The phones and Internet conversations began buzzing in a Boomtown filled with people new to the prairie. Where do we go? What do we do? When will it hit?
I'm a woman born and grown on the sweeping open prairies under a sky that will softly kiss the hilltops with light one minute, only to turn around to swallow up the land in a fury of wind and rain the next. I know this. I've seen its volatility and in some ways I've blamed its constant impulsiveness on my own. How could the drama of such sweetness and rage not get under my skin?
But these days, home on these familiar plains, I'm a minority. For the thousands of new residents who have come north from the rocky soil of a mountain range, the sandy beaches of the coast, or the dry heat of the desert, the roll of the thunder coming up from the horizon to rest in your gut is not a familiar feeling. And it can be terrifying to know that under this big open sky in the middle of America, anything can happen.
Even those of us whose roots are long planted here are still at risk of being taken off guard.
And so I'm thinking of my first lesson in the danger of our sky today, because last weekend, while taking new friends out on the boat on the big lake in the heat of the day I looked up at that horizon and watched white clouds turn to black, lightning flash, heard the thunder crack and felt the waves grow bigger underneath us as my husband put the throttle down to escape the white wall of hailstones and rain that were chasing us toward the shore on the other side of the lake.
I turned to my friend, a former Utah resident who has spent the past nine months discovering and learning about her new home on the prairie. I wanted to reassure her, but as I looked up at the darkening sky I felt my usual confidence in my home dissipate and my vulnerability swell on that water.
I wished desperately for solid ground and a trusted horse that would know his footing and bring us all home.
And for the first time, I think I began to understand what it might feel like to dig new roots in this fickle and mysterious place.
Jessie Veeder is a musician and writer living with her husband on a ranch near Watford City, N.D. Readers can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org .